Finding my support through IVF

I never thought I'd have to go through IVF. I suppose not many people do - but work gets busy, life gets busy, and having a baby remains a nebulous possibility. Until it doesn't.

At age 39, after several years of trying (naturally) and IUI (intra-uterine insemination) attempts, I finally relented and agreed to try IVF. I wasn't sure what to expect and my husband knew even less. We went through several clinics and we felt lost in the sea of people trying to have a baby, with doctors and nurses always too busy to answer all of our questions and to hold our hands through the process. 

And so I did what I do best - research! Throughout that research though, I still felt like I wanted support, not just information. That's how I came across Spectrum Doula Collective. I knew about birth doulas but I didn't know about doula fertility support! My doula, Corina, has been invaluable throughout the whole process.

Corina's help was crucial on two occasions that many of you may not even think of as traditionally associated with a doula. First, she accompanied me to my hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test, which I was convinced - based on Google searching - would be one of the most terrifying experiences on earth. I had postponed this visit for over a year and if it hadn't been for Corina I would have never moved forward in my fertility journey.

Corina squeezes my feet in encouragement

Corina squeezes my feet in encouragement

But she was there for me and she did a great job of explaining the science behind the procedure and all possible outcomes and, most importantly, comforting me when I was scared. As a result, the entire experience was positive and our bond grew from it.

It was thus no surprise that she was the person of choice to accompany me to the fertility clinic for an egg retrieval operation. I wasn't nearly as scared going into it because I knew I would be with someone who not only cared, but was also cool-headed and knowledgeable as to how to best handle me before, during, and after the procedure.

My husband and friends also care, but they aren't as great on the other two counts (needle-phobia, anyone?) and the least thing I needed on that day was worrying about someone ELSE's experience.

The procedure wasn't easy but Corina's presence made a huge difference. She made me relax, she made me laugh, and above all she made me feel safe. The picture is an 'after' shot in which she is squeezing my feet in encouragement. About an hour later we were at laughing at the outrageous, 'under sedation influence' topics we had covered while I was on the operating table. I felt relieved and hopeful.

I still do - and I am wholeheartedly (and bravely) navigating the rest of my fertility journey with Corina (and my loved ones by my side). 

Written by Spectrum Doula Collective Client


At Spectrum Doula Collective we work with the whole spectrum of families (including single, LGBTQIA+, and polyamorous folks) who are trying to conceive. We will attend important appointments at the fertility clinic for uncomfortable tests, such as the egg retrieval process, hysterosalpingogram (fallopian tube test), and insemination/in vitro fertilization. Our goal is to instill confidence and provide emotional and physical support for clients who are trying to conceive, or hope to be a parent later on.